Recap:
Last week, we talked about embracing grace—that God meets you right where you are. No performance needed. No checklist to complete. No way you can earn it. Grace is God’s love freely given, because of the cross, and all we can do is open our hands and say, “God, I receive it. I don’t deserve it, but I’ll take it.” Anybody else in that boat? You know you don’t deserve it, but thank God for His grace!
This week, we take it further. Because if you’ve received grace… you’re called to extend it.
And let me be real with you—that’s a whole lot harder.
It’s easy to embrace grace when it’s all about you. But now we shift. Grace isn’t just something you hold. It’s something you give. And on this beautiful Mother’s Day—I’m asking if I can step on some toes. Too late. I’m already doing it. Buckle up.
Let’s talk about David and Nabal in 1 Samuel 25.
David’s on the run—he’s been anointed king, but Saul’s still on the throne and hunting him down. So David’s out in the wilderness with his loyal men, protecting villages from raiders, wolves, and thieves. Acting like the king he’s not yet crowned to be.
One of those villages belongs to a man named Nabal—a rich, arrogant fool. (Literally. His name means fool. Imagine naming your kid “Disaster” and wondering what went wrong.)
David’s men had protected Nabal’s flocks and servants for an entire season. And when the time of celebration came—payday, sheep shearing, party mode—David politely sends word asking if Nabal might share a little food. It was customary. Expected. Basic honor.
But Nabal responds with disrespect and contempt: “Who is David? Why should I give him anything?” No gratitude. No acknowledgment. Just a slap in the face.
When David hears this, he doesn’t turn the other cheek. Oh no. He straps on his sword. “We’re going to war. We’re wiping him out.”
Ever been there?
Maybe you didn’t grab a sword—but you grabbed your words, your attitude, your silence, your sarcasm. You went into battle mode. “After all I’ve done? And they treat me like that? Oh, it’s on.”
But in steps Abigail, Nabal’s wife. And this woman is the picture of grace.
She hears what happened—how David had been kind, how her husband dishonored him—and she doesn’t wait. Scripture says, “Abigail lost no time.” She gathers a feast, loads up donkeys, and rides out to meet David.
Why? Because grace moves first.
She wasn’t told. She wasn’t asked. She just knew. Grace doesn’t wait around. It acts. It intervenes. It moves.
And some of you today—you’ve got broken relationships. Maybe it’s a parent, a child, a sibling, a friend. Maybe it’s been months. Maybe years. And you’ve been waiting—they owe me the apology… they need to come to me… But I wonder if God’s whispering to your heart: “You go first.”
Because grace initiates. That’s what Jesus did for you.
Romans says: “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” That means grace didn’t wait until you cleaned yourself up. Grace showed up when you were at your worst.
John Stott puts it this way: “Grace is love that cares and stoops and rescues.” Grace bends low. Grace acts. Grace sacrifices.
And Abigail doesn’t just send food—she bows before David and says something shocking:
“I accept all the blame in this matter.”
Wait—what?! It wasn’t her fault. Nabal was the fool. But here she is, standing in the gap. Covering his offense. Taking the hit.
That’s not weakness. That’s grace.
And let me tell you—that doesn’t preach well on TikTok. In a cancel culture, this sounds crazy. Our world says, “Hold the grudge. Keep the score. They wronged you—it’s their problem.”
But grace operates differently. Grace covers the offense.
Proverbs says: “Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers all wrongs.”
1 Peter says: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.”
That’s what Jesus did for you. Isaiah says: “He was pierced for our rebellion… crushed for our sin… the Lord laid on Him the sins of us all.”
He covered you. Can you cover someone else?
Let me say this clearly: Grace doesn’t deny the wound. But it chooses to rewrite the story.
And that brings me to Kim’s story.
Kim grew up in an abusive home. Her mom was manipulative, selfish, and emotionally destructive. Kim left. Years later, she had her first child and God got a hold of her heart—on an airplane. The Spirit of God whispered, “You can repeat your parents’ story… or through me, you can start a new one.”
Kim gave her life to Jesus. She tried to reconnect with her mom—but her mom disappeared again.
Twenty years. No contact.
Until one day, Kim’s sister called—“Mom is dying.”
She went. And even as her mom lashed out again, Kim didn’t lash back. She loved. She served. She paid for her care. She brought her to Kansas City. Bought her a house. Eventually had her live with her. Kim was there—literally holding her mom’s hand until she took her last breath.
That’s grace. Not because her mom earned it. Not because her mom apologized. But because grace rewrote the story.
And today, Kim has a completely different relationship with her kids than she had with her mom. Grace changed the legacy.
Grace is hard. It costs something. But it’s what we’re called to do.
Romans 12 says:
Do not repay anyone evil for evil… If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
You won’t always be best friends. You may never get the apology. But as far as it depends on you—make the first move. Cover the offense. Rewrite the story. Be like Jesus.
Let grace flow through you.
Group Questions:
Icebreaker Questions (Pick 1–2):
- What’s your go-to reaction when someone wrongs you—withdraw, confront, vent, or pretend it didn’t happen?
- Describe a time when someone unexpectedly showed you grace. How did it impact you?
- If your life was a sitcom, what would the episode title be for this past week? (Light & fun)
Discussion Questions:
1. Grace Received
- Last week’s message reminded us that grace is freely given. Why do you think it’s so hard to receive grace, even when we know we don’t deserve it?
- What’s an area in your life where you’re still learning to accept God’s grace?
Read: Romans 5:8 — “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
How does this verse challenge our performance-driven mindset?
2. Grace Extended
- Why do you think it’s harder to extend grace than receive it?
- Think of a time when you were “David”—ready to retaliate. What pulled you back?
- The sermon said, “Grace moves first.” What relationship in your life is God prompting you to take the first step in?
Read: 1 Samuel 25:18, 23–24 — Abigail didn’t wait; she took action.
What would it look like for you to move first in a strained relationship?
3. Grace Covers
- Abigail said, “I accept all blame…” even though it wasn’t her fault. In today’s culture, that kind of humility seems weak. Why is that kind of grace so powerful?
- Do you struggle more with holding grudges or pretending wounds don’t exist? Why?
Read: Proverbs 10:12 & 1 Peter 4:8 — “Love covers a multitude of sins.”
How do these verses help reframe conflict in our relationships?
4. Grace Rewrites the Story
- Kim’s story was powerful. What stood out to you most about how she responded to her mom?
- Have you seen grace change a legacy in your life—or someone else’s?
Read: Romans 12:17–18 — “If it is possible… live at peace with everyone.”
What does this mean in a real-world scenario where reconciliation may not be mutual?
Personal Reflection & Prayer:
- Where in your life do you need to extend grace this week?
- Who do you need to pray for today—someone who hurt you, abandoned you, or disappointed you?
- What would it look like to trust God with the outcome, even if you never get an apology?